update on life

so whats new. i have been slacking on blogging. ok ive been slacking on a lot of things period. so sorry girls. im thinking of getting co-mods for my pages and forum but idk i just dont want the stuff to turn all drama filled. i have a very laid back tone on the pages. ive been able to keep drama out of them all. anyway thats not the only thing in need a co-mod for them.

ok ...(deep breath) ... since before i even graduated high school i had been wanting to join the navy. yup yup well senior year things didnt go as planned. i graduated about 4 months pregnant. yikes. drama drama drama moved for a month came back and a few days later bye bye angel baby. very depressing. my then soon to be boyfriend was leaving for bootcamp a week later and my best girl friend to college. great all alone going through a very extreamly emotional state alone. after boyfriend graduated bootcamp he came home and we got engaged and he took me to the recruiters. in the end i decided against it so that i can work on our long distance relationship. well marriage then a baby throw in some underways, deployments and oooo another baby, a suprise deployment and now just military life.

for awhile i just havent been feeling .... well.. myself. i know im a wife and a mom a daughter excetera but if you were to ask me what are you outside of that i would have no answer for you. so its about time i discover my life. not only for me but for my family. me and hubby have been talking about this for years. and its finally going to happen. well if i dont stand in my own way. see i have a BAD habit of talking myself out of things that would be good for me. i think its fear, fear of failing, fear of change, fear of missing out. i just cant go through life continuing that mentality. so in a few short months i will be joining my husband in signing my life away for 4 years to the UNITED STATES NAVY.

yes thats right as much as ive complained about it im doing it lol. several people have already said noooo dont do it lol. some say omg what you are so nuts how can you be away from your kids and put them through a dual military life. awful mom i am! theres also so many that just say if it works for you then do it. we will be able to understand each other more and we believe it will strengthen our marriage even more.

we've started planning and we will be going to the recruiter once again to get all the correct info. hubby is so pushing me to do it cause he knows its what ive wanted to do. parents and cousins fully support my decision and are all helping out while me and hubby are gone, with the kiddos. shore duty will shortly follow so they will have one constant parent. 

so after that long update thats all i really have to say today lol. wish me LUCK!